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therealljidol week 5. A couple of weeks ago, the topic for LJ…

break o' Dawn

random - kristin & maddie

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random - kristin & maddie
therealljidol week 5.

A couple of weeks ago, the topic for LJ Idol had to do with bliss. You know.. one of those moments where everything is good in the world. I spent days turning that topic over and over in my head and I couldn't think of anything to write. I don't mean to say that my life is terrible or anything, by any means, but lately, as most of you know, I have not had much to be "blissful" about. So, I decided to use my "bye" (kind of like a free pass to miss a week.) that week.

That said - while I could not think of anything that would qualify as "bliss", there was something that came fairly close. I couldn't really think of a way to work it into the topic of "bliss", but I hoped I would be able to incorporate it into something later on. And, here we are. This week, LJ Idol has given us an open topic. So, I am going to talk about what I have been wanting to talk about for weeks now.

New York City. Wait. Hold up. Not just the city itself. I mean, we all know it is a fantastic place. There really is something for everyone there - and for a crazy musical theatre fan like me? There is a LOT there. But... it's more than just the city.

Let's backtrack a bit. After the breakup of that lovely long term relationship (and engagement.), I was obviously messed up for awhile. I went through the motions and was able to function and all, but nothing really made me happy anymore. My ex and I had had tickets to go see RENT in NYC in July. I have loved the musical RENT since 1998, and so I knew that despite the whole.. break up thing.. I was going to see RENT in NYC. I got a friend up for the plan, and plans were made. I was going to be in NYC for three days in July. But... I still wasn't all that excited.

Then, I got an email about a cast change that was happening in RENT. Ummm.. yeah. Suddenly, my plans changed. I had to see RENT when this new cast change was to take place. See.. the person who was going to be joining the cast was someone who I have wanted to see play that role on stage for, like, ever. Plus, she's a friend. And she's amazing. So - after a lot of work, a lot of hassle, phone calls to other friends, and a LOT of planning - I was now going to be in New York for almost two weeks.

Still, though, I wasn't thrilled. I mean.. I was excited and all.. but I wasn't thrilled. I got on the Greyhound that day, my thoughts full of what the hell had gone in my life, with just a little tiny bit of "Hm.. New York. This should be fun."

That's how I spent the bus ride there. And then.. I stepped out of the bus. Onto the New York City sidewalk. And suddenly... I can't even explain it.. but I felt like I was home. I had been to NYC before, of course, but never like this.. for this long.. as an adult.

The trip went way too fast. I saw so many of my friends, some who live there, some who also traveled down (or up...) there at the same time. We saw shows (not as many as I would have liked, but still! Shows!), we ate, we did a LOT of walking. I got to see that friend of mine perform on Broadway, performing a role that she had wanted to do for YEARS. (I cried a little, not gonna lie.) I got to go backstage at RENT at the Nederlander theatre in New York City. Now, THAT was cool. ;)

The crazy thing is... the whole time.. it was like the dark cloud that had been following me around for weeks and weeks and weeks.. it was just... gone. I literally, at one point, walked into a store and saw something that full out reminded me of the ex. I turned to my friend and went.. "I should be feeling something right now. But.. I'm not." It was amazing.

Now.. I'm not saying it's still like that. It's certainly not always sunshine and lollipops for me these days. I am no longer in that amazing headspace that I was in back then. But, now, because of that one trip, I have hope. I have knowledge that something out there can make me that happy.. and can make me forget, even temporarily, the sadness and anger that I so often carry around with me.

I'm going back this summer. And, when I am done with school, moving there, at least temporarily, is certainly an option.

And, you know... some people say it wasn't anything that amazing.. that a change of scenery always does you good.. that's all it was. But, it was more than that. I had plenty of major changes of scenery before I went to NYC. None of them felt like that.

That city is my home. That city gives me hope. That city saved my sanity... and I am so grateful.
  • So very glad you found something that gave you happiness and peace. :)

    Great post.
  • Excellent post! (and I think it would have worked wonderfully for the bliss entry, just sayin')
    • Haha.. yeah, maybe.. I dunno. I just wasn't sure if "bliss" described it well... but, thank you!
  • very nicely done. i remember when you went to NYC and how excited i was that you got to see her on stage :)
    • I think that is the thing I was most excited about... I mean, I had seen her on stage before, but in THAT role was wayyy different, haha.
  • My "home" is in Toronto. I lived there for six-weeks and i loved it. Services that I need, are there, ... I have nothing here. I am stuck, in limbo, have nothing to enjoy... since so many things are changing for me, it is hard to enjoy living here. I do find happiness, after achieving the littlest, new tasks that seem daunting at first... overcoming things isn't easy for me. Great write.
    • That's funny.. 'cause I am actually from Toronto. I think we've had this conversation before. But, I know our situations are different, but in a sense, I feel they are similar. It is hard for me to find happiness here anymore, because everything is changing for me too. You know?
  • I've got a NYC for myself. It's called Georegtown, DE. :) Very good job. :)
  • *rounds of applause*

    I loved this entry.
  • As you know, I am a full believer in the magic of New York City. I know a handful of people who have moved there, and every time another one does my heart hurts a little because I want to so bad. Alas, my life does not seem to be going in that direction. But if you move there, I'm buying you a nice comfortable futon because I will be coming to visit often.

    And yes, I do occasionally check LJ. Not too many people on my list update regularly, but now that I'm working again it's part of my morning procrastination. Eventually I'll get around to posting an entry of my own.
    • I do know this. I may very well move there... and I will welcome your futon which will symbolize how often you will be there to visit. :)

      Looking forward to the entries of your own. :)
  • I had the same experience the first time I saw Dallas. It's kind of weird that somewhere I'd never been became Home, but there you have it. Well written.
    • It DEFINITELY can be weird. I don't know if it was the city itself, the people that I saw in the city (those who I knew and those who I didn't know..)... it just seems like a combination of everything that just makes me miss it so much now.
  • I went to see that play with the woman who is now my ex. It was a lot of fun. The whole NYC experience is something that really can't be duplicated anywhere else. I stayed for a week that time in the Millennium Broadway Hotel, a short walk from the theater.
    • RENT, you mean? Yeah, it is a pretty fantastic show for sure. You saw it on Broadway? When?
      • In August of 2004. I'd come to the city to see my cousin in an off off Broadway festival called Fringe, and the woman wanted to see Rent. So, I shelled out 108 bucks so we could just get through the door. lol
        • Haha, aww, yeah.. but come on.. wasn't it worth it? ;)

          Did you ever see the movie?
          • Oh yeah, those folks were quite talented. Never saw the movie, but I do wanna hear that song Seasons Of Love again. I sang it during my graduation from high school, so it has sentimental value.
  • We went to NYC a year ago for a family vacation. We had such a wonderful time. Costs a fortune though....but so much fun and nicer / cleaner than I remembered from my 1st visit when I was a kid with my parents. We laughed till we nearly peed our pants at SPAMALOT!!! Couldn't get in to WICKED, but I was able to see that one for less money here in Cincinnati last January. Now I know how you got your LJ name! P.
    • Yes, Spamalot is hysterical!! And, seeing Wicked on tour is just as good.. I mean, almost. And, yes, much cheaper. For me, it was just about RENT.. I LOVE that show and I have for years and it would have been weird to never see it on Broadway.. plus, again, my friend was in it... so I HAD to go. ;)
  • This reminds me of how I felt when I went to Prague. I call it the home of my heart. I am glad you have found one too.
  • I really love RENT! It's my favorite musical. I couldn't understand the plot when I first saw it on broadway over 5 years ago, but the music was to die for. Congratulations to your friend and it's great that NYC made such a profound impression on you!
    • Haha, yeah, it's a bit complicated the first time for sure.. did you ever see the movie?
      And.. thank you.. and yes, it is great. :)
      • Yeah, I did. By seeing the movie a bunch of times, I could understand the plot a lot better.
  • This was great! Sorry it took me so long to read! I'm not usually this far behind!
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