A couple of weeks ago, the topic for LJ Idol had to do with bliss. You know.. one of those moments where everything is good in the world. I spent days turning that topic over and over in my head and I couldn't think of anything to write. I don't mean to say that my life is terrible or anything, by any means, but lately, as most of you know, I have not had much to be "blissful" about. So, I decided to use my "bye" (kind of like a free pass to miss a week.) that week.
That said - while I could not think of anything that would qualify as "bliss", there was something that came fairly close. I couldn't really think of a way to work it into the topic of "bliss", but I hoped I would be able to incorporate it into something later on. And, here we are. This week, LJ Idol has given us an open topic. So, I am going to talk about what I have been wanting to talk about for weeks now.
New York City. Wait. Hold up. Not just the city itself. I mean, we all know it is a fantastic place. There really is something for everyone there - and for a crazy musical theatre fan like me? There is a LOT there. But... it's more than just the city.
Let's backtrack a bit. After the breakup of that lovely long term relationship (and engagement.), I was obviously messed up for awhile. I went through the motions and was able to function and all, but nothing really made me happy anymore. My ex and I had had tickets to go see RENT in NYC in July. I have loved the musical RENT since 1998, and so I knew that despite the whole.. break up thing.. I was going to see RENT in NYC. I got a friend up for the plan, and plans were made. I was going to be in NYC for three days in July. But... I still wasn't all that excited.
Then, I got an email about a cast change that was happening in RENT. Ummm.. yeah. Suddenly, my plans changed. I had to see RENT when this new cast change was to take place. See.. the person who was going to be joining the cast was someone who I have wanted to see play that role on stage for, like, ever. Plus, she's a friend. And she's amazing. So - after a lot of work, a lot of hassle, phone calls to other friends, and a LOT of planning - I was now going to be in New York for almost two weeks.
Still, though, I wasn't thrilled. I mean.. I was excited and all.. but I wasn't thrilled. I got on the Greyhound that day, my thoughts full of what the hell had gone in my life, with just a little tiny bit of "Hm.. New York. This should be fun."
That's how I spent the bus ride there. And then.. I stepped out of the bus. Onto the New York City sidewalk. And suddenly... I can't even explain it.. but I felt like I was home. I had been to NYC before, of course, but never like this.. for this long.. as an adult.
The trip went way too fast. I saw so many of my friends, some who live there, some who also traveled down (or up...) there at the same time. We saw shows (not as many as I would have liked, but still! Shows!), we ate, we did a LOT of walking. I got to see that friend of mine perform on Broadway, performing a role that she had wanted to do for YEARS. (I cried a little, not gonna lie.) I got to go backstage at RENT at the Nederlander theatre in New York City. Now, THAT was cool. ;)
The crazy thing is... the whole time.. it was like the dark cloud that had been following me around for weeks and weeks and weeks.. it was just... gone. I literally, at one point, walked into a store and saw something that full out reminded me of the ex. I turned to my friend and went.. "I should be feeling something right now. But.. I'm not." It was amazing.
Now.. I'm not saying it's still like that. It's certainly not always sunshine and lollipops for me these days. I am no longer in that amazing headspace that I was in back then. But, now, because of that one trip, I have hope. I have knowledge that something out there can make me that happy.. and can make me forget, even temporarily, the sadness and anger that I so often carry around with me.
I'm going back this summer. And, when I am done with school, moving there, at least temporarily, is certainly an option.
And, you know... some people say it wasn't anything that amazing.. that a change of scenery always does you good.. that's all it was. But, it was more than that. I had plenty of major changes of scenery before I went to NYC. None of them felt like that.
That city is my home. That city gives me hope. That city saved my sanity... and I am so grateful.